Nursing Homes, the best of the worst of them




Recently, I put a post up about the nursing facility in which my mother is a resident. I stated that I had some complaints about my mother’s care and when I voiced my concerns to the head administrator at the facility her response was and I quote “If I didn’t like it there, I could always move my mother and father to another facility.” My father is at the same facility, but I wasn’t complaining about his care, so why would she say that I could remove both of them? Because she doesn’t want to deal with me and my unrelenting demand for better service. Now, you too might say, Yeah, Lynne why not just put your Mother in a nother facility if you don’t like it. Thank you for asking. Well, there is a certain way that human beings should be treated and in a congregate setting where people are paying for service and the facility advertises that they give superb service then they need to be held accountable. There is a mindset that permeates through the industry of social services that makes it okay to treat human beings in a non-human way. Sometimes when people have conditions which render them unable to speak up for themselves they are devalued. They are treated like boxes. Boxes. Something that you put on a shelf and forget it’s there. Something that you may through in the basement, to get out of your way. Or something that is simply in the way, that you need to walk around or kick out of your way.

Now, let me also say, that I know THIS IS NOT EVERYONE, OR EVERY FACILITY, whew, glad I got that out the way, because we know that. So this article to about the facilities that don’t live up to the baseline standard that people deserve. Now I am not asking for anything special. The only thing that I wanted was for my mother to be fed, three times a day, she is incontinent due to Alzhiemer’s disease, so she needs to be cleaned and adult diapers changed accordingly and physical therapy, walked up and own the hall instead of sitting in a wheel chair all day.

So I ask you,yes I ask you is that asking for anything special? I would love to hear from you if you have a loved in a nursing facility and you have concerns about their care. I think that if we stand together and demand that our loved ones get the care that the facility is getting paid to provide then that is exactly what we should see. No , family should have to go through what my family has been through, you will hear more about it in my blog posts.

I was also told by this particular administrator when I complained about visiting my mother on several occassions that she was soiled and I mean dripping down your leg soiled. Okay, just imagine you go to pick you baby up from daycare and you find out that your child, your baby had been sitting in the same soiled diaper all day and had not been engaged in any activity. I think you would be pissed (excuse the pun).

I am building a group of people across the United States who are tired of seeing older American’s who are treated with disregard as they enter the last years of their lives and have to live in nursing facilities. We have to do better. I don’t think that starving people to death is a humane way of treating people. The last meeting I was at for my Mother, All I can remember is hearing the administator (same one) and another facility administrator who teamed up together, telling me in unison. “Your mother is terminal, your mother is terminal, your mother is terminal, your mother is terminal.” Yes, there, I think it was about five times. I thought about what they said and why they were saying it.

You see I know that my mother has a dis-ease that is terminal. There is no cure for Alzeihmers. I get that. But what I don’t get is deciding that you are not going to feed someone because you think it is time for them to die. And what I really should have said to both on them, was we are all terminal. Life is terminal, none of us make it out of this thing alive. So I get that. But, no one leaves this life until “the big man” says it’s time. So until then, stop playing God, stop pretending your working, and stop playing with people’s lives.

If you work in the social services industry, you must please keep in mind that you have precious cargo. You have someone’s mother, father, sister, brother, niece, uncle , aunt, cousin, friend daughter or son in your capable hands.  And please,  Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospital to angels without knowing it.  Hebrews 13:2


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