I had meeting with my mother’s staff her doctors.I inquired about her diet and told them that while at the nursing home where Mother’s resides I was told she get’s thickened liquids. At the meeting I was told that she is able to drink think liquids like apple juice which is her favorite. I was told that Mother is walked daily from her room to the dining room where she sits in a wheelchair all day. But, the reality is that mother is not walked to the dining at all.
Needless to say that there is a lack of communication from my mother’s doctor and staff at the meetings to the actual staff who administer her care. Which one is right? Which one is not keeping the records correctly? I don’t know.
But, when I went to this meeting I know the one thing that I felt like they wanted me to do was to sign a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). After the doctor explained to me in detail why this was a necessary act that I should implement into my Mother’s plan. Let me explain why I declined.
It was explained to me that when CPR is performed on an older person’s body there is a great probability that bones may be broken. If she needs a tube placed into her throat they explained how this would create great discomfort for the person and the family is simply prolonging the inevitable. (that the person is going to die)
My mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. I have watched her decline. I must admit though is her decline because of the medication and not the disease. When I placed my mother in the nursing home. The first thing they did was put her in a wheel chair. My mother was able to walk.
I have watched how this nursing home system works, they bring the people in, put them all in wheel chairs and diapers and keep them horded in one room. I have to constantly check on Mother to make sure that she is eating and being cleaned up.
At this meeting I realized another horrifying revelation, they also want you to sign a DNR. a DNR gives them license to let the person die. They will not continue to care for the person in the same way, all of that goes out the window with a DNR. A DNR says I allow you to let the person die.
I won’t apologize for the way that I see things. I am so tired of that, it is what it is. I’m like an umpire I call it like I see it.
I had an interview with a young woman who was doing research for her doctorate. She asked me if I understood the DNR and what it meant and how did I feel about it. I told her I felt like I was being forced to sign a DNR.
The point is this, we all are terminal. At the end of the story everybody dies. Everyone. Since life is short enough. I say no to the DNR. This is what I know, no one will leave this earth until God is ready to receive them. I have seen babies leave here after only a minute of life and I have seen people who should have been dead long ago remain living. My mother would not have wanted a DNR. She believed in miracles. And, now I think I do too.