The Injury

So this is how we found my Mom’s toe when my brother and I went to visit her. There was no incident report done, so we asked them to do one. They did an incident report and then told us that they had no idead how “she” did that. I said to them, let’s understand something, there is no way my mother could have done this to herself. She isn’t walking independently and the doctor said she can’t do anything for herself. So as of this date of this blog we have not heard anything about what happened to her toe. This happened on January 25, 2017.

When I asked the administator of the hospital about the incident she smiled that silly old smile and said “things happen”.  I am so sick of these types of answers from her. What I want is for my mother to get the care that she deserves. I know for a fact that when her toe was injured that she screamed out. I know this because when my brother and I touched it she screamed  out. We asked a social worker about the indent and he said he didn’t think there was any abuse going on. I wonder how he would like the whole nail bed of his toe to be ripped off how would he feel then.

It amazes me how people turn their heads to issues that are going on right in front on them. We were very upset about Mother’s toe. When this incident happened we received a phone call from her doctor who said that Mother was not eating and that they were going to put her on hospice and make her comfortable because she was in the end stages of Alzheimers. But what we found out was that her toe was injured and she was angry about the fact that no one did anything about it and she was in pain. The only way she could communicate to anyone was to stop eatiing. Mother has been eating very well since we received the phone call that she was “dying”.  The doctor said she never put mother on hospice and that Mother could live another 6 months she really doesn’t know. They also have no idea what happened to her toe.

I wanted to share this photo with you all because these are the things that our older citizens are going through. If you have a loved one in a nursing facility, GO and CHECK on THEM!

 

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Nursing Homes, the best of the worst of them

 

 

 

Recently, I put a post up about the nursing facility in which my mother is a resident. I stated that I had some complaints about my mother’s care and when I voiced my concerns to the head administrator at the facility her response was and I quote “If I didn’t like it there, I could always move my mother and father to another facility.” My father is at the same facility, but I wasn’t complaining about his care, so why would she say that I could remove both of them? Because she doesn’t want to deal with me and my unrelenting demand for better service. Now, you too might say, Yeah, Lynne why not just put your Mother in a nother facility if you don’t like it. Thank you for asking. Well, there is a certain way that human beings should be treated and in a congregate setting where people are paying for service and the facility advertises that they give superb service then they need to be held accountable. There is a mindset that permeates through the industry of social services that makes it okay to treat human beings in a non-human way. Sometimes when people have conditions which render them unable to speak up for themselves they are devalued. They are treated like boxes. Boxes. Something that you put on a shelf and forget it’s there. Something that you may through in the basement, to get out of your way. Or something that is simply in the way, that you need to walk around or kick out of your way.

Now, let me also say, that I know THIS IS NOT EVERYONE, OR EVERY FACILITY, whew, glad I got that out the way, because we know that. So this article to about the facilities that don’t live up to the baseline standard that people deserve. Now I am not asking for anything special. The only thing that I wanted was for my mother to be fed, three times a day, she is incontinent due to Alzhiemer’s disease, so she needs to be cleaned and adult diapers changed accordingly and physical therapy, walked up and own the hall instead of sitting in a wheel chair all day.

So I ask you,yes I ask you is that asking for anything special? I would love to hear from you if you have a loved in a nursing facility and you have concerns about their care. I think that if we stand together and demand that our loved ones get the care that the facility is getting paid to provide then that is exactly what we should see. No , family should have to go through what my family has been through, you will hear more about it in my blog posts.

I was also told by this particular administrator when I complained about visiting my mother on several occassions that she was soiled and I mean dripping down your leg soiled. Okay, just imagine you go to pick you baby up from daycare and you find out that your child, your baby had been sitting in the same soiled diaper all day and had not been engaged in any activity. I think you would be pissed (excuse the pun).

I am building a group of people across the United States who are tired of seeing older American’s who are treated with disregard as they enter the last years of their lives and have to live in nursing facilities. We have to do better. I don’t think that starving people to death is a humane way of treating people. The last meeting I was at for my Mother, All I can remember is hearing the administator (same one) and another facility administrator who teamed up together, telling me in unison. “Your mother is terminal, your mother is terminal, your mother is terminal, your mother is terminal.” Yes, there, I think it was about five times. I thought about what they said and why they were saying it.

You see I know that my mother has a dis-ease that is terminal. There is no cure for Alzeihmers. I get that. But what I don’t get is deciding that you are not going to feed someone because you think it is time for them to die. And what I really should have said to both on them, was we are all terminal. Life is terminal, none of us make it out of this thing alive. So I get that. But, no one leaves this life until “the big man” says it’s time. So until then, stop playing God, stop pretending your working, and stop playing with people’s lives.

If you work in the social services industry, you must please keep in mind that you have precious cargo. You have someone’s mother, father, sister, brother, niece, uncle , aunt, cousin, friend daughter or son in your capable hands.  And please,  Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospital to angels without knowing it.  Hebrews 13:2

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DNR

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I had meeting with my mother’s staff her doctors.I inquired about her diet and told them that while at the nursing home where Mother’s resides I was told she get’s thickened liquids. At the meeting I was told that she is able to drink think liquids like apple juice which is her favorite. I was told that Mother is walked daily from her room to the dining room where she sits in a wheelchair all day. But, the reality is that mother is not walked to the dining at all.

Needless to say that there is a lack of communication from my mother’s doctor and staff at the meetings to the actual staff who administer her care. Which one is right? Which one is not keeping the records correctly? I don’t know.

But, when I went to this meeting I know the one thing that I felt like they wanted me to do was to sign a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). After the doctor explained to me in detail why this was a necessary act that I should implement into my Mother’s plan. Let me explain why I declined.

It was explained to me that when CPR is performed on an older person’s body there is a great probability that bones may be broken. If she needs a tube placed into her throat they explained how this would create great discomfort for the person and the family is simply prolonging the inevitable. (that the person is going to die)

My mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. I have watched her decline. I must admit though is her decline because of the medication and not the disease. When I placed my mother in the nursing home. The first thing they did was put her in a wheel chair. My mother was able to walk.

I have watched how this nursing home system works, they bring the people in, put them all in wheel chairs and diapers and keep them horded in one room. I have to constantly check on Mother to make sure that she is eating and being cleaned up.

At this meeting I realized another horrifying revelation, they also want you to sign a DNR. a DNR gives them license to let the person die. They will not continue to care for the person in the same way, all of that goes out the window with a DNR. A DNR says I allow you to let the person die.

I won’t apologize for the way that I see things. I am so tired of that, it is what it is. I’m like an umpire I call it like I see it.

I had an interview with a young woman who was doing research for her doctorate. She asked me if I understood the DNR and what it meant and how did I feel about it. I told her I felt like I was being forced to sign a DNR.

The point is this, we all are terminal. At the end of the story everybody dies. Everyone. Since life is short enough. I say no to the DNR. This is what I know, no one will leave this earth until God is ready to receive them. I have seen babies leave here after only a minute of life and I have seen people who should have been dead long ago remain living. My mother would not have wanted a DNR. She believed in miracles. And, now I think I do too.

 

 

 

 

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I killed you in my book

1azujn8OKAAED4cQpbke9imabbu5O3w==.64I have come up against some spirits that have wanted to to destroy me. But I am still standing. I have come up against some people unaware that they were carrying around with them some really bad, jealous, vengeful, ignorant, selfish spirits that have tried to take me out, but I am still standing.

I am still standing because I killed you in my book.

Every day I go see my Mom at the nursing home. I have to ask for the strength from God, to endure what I see. I pray for my Mom and Dad and what they are going through now in their old age. I pray that they people they come in contact with are a child of God. If they are not then I kill them in my book.

My latest book, Cul de Sac, a dystopian short story is a perfect example of me killing people in my book and ooohhh how good it feels. I started off writing a book in 2001 called Rebound. When I wrote Rebound, I wasn’t sure how to market it. i didn’t know what genre it fit in. So I ended up telling people that it was a paranormal/sci/fi book. But, now that I look back on the book, it was the beginning of what I am doing now.

This book is the first in the series of dystopian books that I am writing, they will all be short stories.

Cul de Sac takes place in a futuristic Philadelphia, that has undergone some type of apocalyptic catastrophe, (I don’t really say what). The reason why you are going to love this book is because it is powerfully written by the view point of the character, Blaque who is determined to survive in a world that just wants to destroy her.

Cul de Sac will be available on Amazon Kindle, it is an e-book. Now I know how to get rid of all the evil people who come up in my life, I kill them in my book.

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Mom and Grandson

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My son and I visited my mom today. But as you can see from this picture she wasn’t that lucid today. I teased her telling her that I was going to put her on periscope and she said no. Hey, I can’t argue with Mom. I didn’t even know she knew about periscope. (ha..ha)

My son, Eddie always goes with me to visit his Grand Mom.  Eddie is a wonderful 13 year old kid. He spent a lot of time as an infant and toddler with my Mom. Mom took care of Eddie until he was able to go to daycare around 3 years old.

I will tell you now I couldn’t have done anything without my Mom’s help in raising my son. Mom used to take Eddie on the trolley with her when she went out. She would always come back home with a great story to tell about how much attention Eddie got from everyone.

I often thought that she was just bragging about her grandson, but the truth is, he is a pretty awesome dude. He is a straight A student, he is very articulate, can talk rings around any adult person and loves to skateboard. And by the way, he just started playing tennis this summer.

When Mom left the house to go live in the nursing home, Eddie took it pretty hard. One day when we were in the car he just started bawling and I didn’t know why.  I asked him and he said that he didn’t know. I started asking him questions and then he said that he missed Grand Mom.

My son has a lot to deal with at a very young age, he also has an Aunt, my sister Diona who has a disability. My mom gave the last part of her life to caring for Diona and she did a very good job. She kept Diona in the home and Diona was very well taken care of because of that.

We had a great visit, I gave Mom her smoothie and Mom gave me a hug before I left. I know my Mom knows me. She always has, she always will.

 

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Best Mom ever

20160622_100028-1I visited Mom today, and guess what I got her to walk around outside in the yard. She got up out of that wheelchair that they put her in and she walked. I knew she could do it. They wanted me to believe that she wasn’t walking anymore. In fact they want me to believe that she is not eating anymore. My mother can eat and walk and talk.
Sometimes I wonder if it is the medicine and not the disease that has got her. I know exactly how this happened to Mother. She was stressed out about what happened to Diona. I am not going to repeat it here,(what happened to Diona) so you will have to buy my book, which will be available in September 2016, after changing the title several times I finally came up with Building and Creating a successful organization. So I’m sticking with that, besides I think that title is more generic and people will connect with it.
I had a great visit with Mom today, she drank her smoothie, she laughed when I told her that we were going to see Dad. She still knows him, she says that she knows me took even though she won’t say my name. But, one day, I didn’t tell you about this, I came to visit her and I had drifted off somewhere in my mind when out of the blue she looked at me, or appeared to look at me. Mother is blind in her right eye now due to glaucoma. But, she looked at me and said just as clear as day, “Hi Lynne.” I was so moved I began to sob.
I had prayed for Mother to connect with me. I don’t know where her spirit is, but I fear she is being tormented and yes it keeps me up at night. Who wants to believe their parent is being tormented?
So I had a great visit yesterday and I took pictures to send to my brothers. I can believe all this time has gone by. I will be 49 years old on Monday, June 27. Hey Mom, you remember that day that you gave birth to me back in 1967, it is coming around again. It is your birthday too, you gave birth.
I love you Mother. If i had to do it all over again I would do it again for you. You know exactly what I am talking about. Get my book, and you can read the entire story.

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Mother’s Day

153I am finishing up my first non-fiction book titled From the Plantation to the Organization. Some people that I have talked to about this book have said that I need to change the title. Some of these people think the title is too controversy and people won’t buy the book. This is the way I feel about it, well first the book did start off as a “fuck you” to all the people who dicked me over. Yes I said dick. But, then the book grew into something much different it became a research project for me. I researched slavery in America and learned some important facts, so I wrote about them. It was also a therapeutic canvas for me.
I visit my mother almost daily at the nursing home that is what I have been talking about and that is what I also talked about on my blogtalkradio show conveniently titled “The Lynne Mack Show” and it became quite popular.
My mother is still holding on, tough old bird. My mother was a writer although never actually completing a book herself she had some great stories to tell and eventually did attempt to write, but by then the illness was setting in and her writing skills had diminished.
Let me say this right now, very loud for you to hear. I love my mother! We had fights and there were even times when I just didn’t want anything do with her. Oh, how I wish I had just a second of that time back now.
When I visit Mother now, she is distant, so far away, I can’t reach her. I cry when I visit her because I remember how it used to be. I remember Mother the way she was. Who is this woman staring off into space, speaking garbled a language I can’t understand. Who is she? Not Mother.
On this particular day I am visiting Mother and that is when I say to one of the workers. “Is mother’s day next week?” She laughs and says. “Mother’s day was last month.” Oh right I think to myself. How could I forget that, it just past and a wave of worry flows over my very existence and I wonder and I worry, could it be, will this also attack me and if so I better get to running, cause Mother’s day is everyday.

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Carpe Diem

I came into the nursing home today to visit Mother, but I am filled with guilt that she is here. Mother feared that one day she would end up in a nursing home and for her to be here now makes me feel really bad. I suppose I will carry this around for the rest of my life.

I can’t make heads or tails out of my life when it comes to Mother. I wanted only the best for her; I am talking blue oceans, sand between her toes and sunshine on her face. We did go to Florida, in fact I moved her there with me many years ago, but because of my sister disability it was best for her to go back to Philadelphia so that she could get help taking care of my sister, institutionalization was not an option.

Mother was a fierce advocate for Diona, her last daughter although it would take eleven years she finally secured services in the home for Diona. Then she had to fight for the best service, there will be more about that later in other writings. I found Mother clean today and sitting at the dining table eating. One of the staff was assisting her eating which I was happy to see. I am happy when I see the staff doing their job. Often I come in to the nursing home and the staffs are standing around the receptionist all in a huddle gossiping, and laughing as if they are in the playground and not at work at all. I have come to the nursing home and found Mother saturated in urine and feces, when this happens it breaks my heart because I feel guilty that she is not home with me.

I have asked for Mother to come home with me but I was told that she would only get four hours of service two hours in the morning to get her up and dressed and two hours in the evening to help her get ready for bed. The problem with that is what about the in-between time, who would care for Mother? I couldn’t do it, I have a son to raise, a sister to take care of and there would be no time for myself.

My mother worked hard her entire life raising a family all by herself. She did a very good job. If parenting was ranked the way we look at sports she would be Michael Jordan. No, seriously, I am not just saying that, that woman has been through a lot. I remember all the stories she told me about the men in her life, how she had been jilted by a man she had a baby with but the baby was born still born. She told me she was so sad because she lost the man and the baby.

I wished I could have crawled back to those years and tell that man, “Hey you are messing with my Mom”. I would have really let him have a good tongue lashing. I am so glad that he went on about his business. My Mom had a lot of heart break including my Dad. The ironic thing is that he is in the nursing home with her. Both of them are here, really gives you a true sense of the statement “till death do us part”. Mother can’t stand my father. They are on separate floors. When I first placed Mother in here all of a sudden he wanted to act like the dutiful husband. He is about forty years too late.

Today I do a lot of writing. A piece that I am writing now for a speech is called Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Stop procrastinating in your life. Live your dreams don’t be afraid what people might think do it anyway, that is the only way you grow and get closer to the creator do what he calls you do. That calling is your inner desires, that thing that keeps tugging away in your mind, body and spirit. All we have is today. Tell your parents you love them. Tell your wife, husband children, family friends that you love them don’t wait until tomorrow. Seize the day.

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Mother and I

This blog is a continuation of my blog talk radio show titled the Lynne Mack show that I hosted in 2011-2012. Wow. I can’t believe it was that long ago. The picture that you see here on my new blog is me and my beautiful Mother Anita Mack.

Mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s sometime in 2011, although I knew it was coming. i saw it coming. First there was the day when Mother came home from going to pick up Diona’s (my sister) medicine. She came home, knocking on the door frantically. “Lynne, Lynne” she called outside of the door, I remember opening the door up. It was dark outside. I was always getting on Mother about going out at night, but she always traveled at night. Some days she would go out in the morning and not return until around 8pm. I would be furious with her.”Where have you been I would chastise her.” As if the tables had been turned and I was the mother and she the daughter. For the most part she would ignore the implication and answer the question.

Soon mother began forgetting things when I talked to her and I knew something was going on, I prayed it wasn’t Alzheimer’s. Her mother had dementia so it was a good chance that she could inherit the disease.

On this particular night, mother was standing at the door crying. I immediately became angered at the sight of my mother in distress, I knew right away that something bad had happened. Sure enough, mother went to the local pharmacy and forgot what she was there for and panicked. She said that when she got in the store she forgot how to get out of the store and she kept walking around in a circle. She said that the staff behind the pharmacy began to laugh at her. As soon as she said that I didn’t want to hear another word. I immediately told mother to stay in the house and I was going down to the pharmacy to see exactly what happened. When I got down to the pharmacy I was livid. The staff were behind the counter’s and when I asked them about an elderly woman coming in to the store they knew exactly who I was talking about.

The staff behind the counter, began to smirk at me as she told the story of my mother coming up to the counter and not remembering who or what she was there for and then she described her walking around the store in a circle of confusion. The thing that disturbed me about the staffs story was that she was smirking the entire time. I allowed her to tell me the story form her perspective of this weird woman coming into their facility. When she was finished I said, “that was my mother. Do you have a mother?” And from there on out it was pretty much down hill, because I had to let the staff know that if you see someone in a state of confusion like that it is no laughing matter. I reminded them all that people have family, no matter how they may appear on the outside, it is not nice to make fun of them.

I proceeded to get my sister’s medicine because Mother never got it. Ever since then I have personally boycotted this extremely popular pharmacy that I won’t name but begins with the letter R.

This is what sticks to my memory of my Mother’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s that horrible night,when she was walking around in a place of business that should help people. But on this life changing day for me it was filled with images of individuals laughing and having a blatant disregard for human life. This has got to change. That is why I have started a campaign called #workwithpapernotpeople because if you work in the public sector for people who have any kind of ailment, a disability, or they are elderly then you must work with compassion. If you do not have that then please work with paper not people.

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